Words express more than the words

When I went to Canada for the first time, what I still cannot forget happened.

I met a Canadian friend for the first time in a while and we were having a nice conversation at a restaurant. After a while, a waiter came to us, pointed to my plate, which still had some food on it, and asked, “Haven’t you finished?”

I wanted to answer “はい、まだです (Hai, madadesu): not yet,” but accidentally I say “Yes!” The waiter then quickly took the plate away!! I quickly blocked him with my hand and said, “No! No!” And, although he put the plate back for me, he left with a complicated look on his face.

“はい、まだです (Hai, madadesu)” is “No, not yet” in English. Since he asked me suddenly, I confused which I should answer “Yes/No.” That is why “はい、まだです (Hai, madadesu) ” is “Yes, not yet” if it is translated in Japanese directly.

In English and other Western languages, when we are asked a negative question like that, we answer “Yes” if we actually finished something and “No” if we did not. Japanese people learn about it in school, and I knew it in theory, but when it comes to real-life situations, it is hard to say. It means that Westerners who are learning Japanese are likely to be confused by “Yes/No.”

At the time, it would have been enough to say, “a waiter took my delicious food away even though there was still some left.” However, if I make a mistake in a business conversation, only an answer, “Yes/No,” would make a decision mistakenly that I could not fix. At least, it would have resulted in a strange distrust in the other person. But I feel that this is not an issue that can be dismissed as simply a difference in grammar.

“食事、終わったの？ (Shokuji, owattano?): Have you finished eating?”
→“はい、終わりました (Hai, owarimashita): Yes, I have”

“食事、終わっていないの？ (Shokuji owattenaino?): Haven’t you finished eating?”
→“はい、まだ終わっていません (Hai, mada owatte imasen): No, not yet”

 Please focus on the answer to both questions with completely opposite meanings is “yes” in Japanese. You can see that “yes” is ultimately used to mean “As you say, it is finished/not finished, as you asked.”

In English, we answer “Yes/No” to the objective facts. Whereas in Japanese, answers “Yes/No” are given based on the other person’s thoughts and questions, not on the facts of the matter, thinking from the speaker’s consciousness. This is the same as telling “I agree/I do not agree” to the other person.

“この電車は京都に行きますか？ (Kono denshawa Kyotoni ikimasuka?): Will this train go to Kyoto?”
→ (agree) はい、行きます (Hai, ikimasu): Yes, it will.
→ (disagree) いいえ、行きません (Iie, ikimasen): No, it will not.

“この電車は京都に行きませんか？ (Kono denshawa Kyotoni ikimasenka?): Won’t this train go to Kyoto?”
→ (agree) はい、行きません (Hai, ikimasen): No, it will not.
→ (disagree) いいえ、行きます (Iie, ikimasu): Yes, it will.

Because “はい (hai): yes / いいえ (iie): no” in Japanese means agreement or disagreement with the other person’s thoughts or statements, it is quite difficult to answer “no” (disagreement) in real life.

When the topic we talk about is an objective fact, such as whether a train goes to Kyoto, answering “yes/no” is easy. However, saying “no” to someone’s proposal or invitation means disagreement, that is, going against the other person’s will or opposing them, and this can create a big gap or friction between you and the other person.

Therefore, Japanese people feel a strong psychological resistance in answering “no” to invitations or suggestions from others. Japanese people have a strong tendency to consider the other person’s position, way of thinking, and feelings when speaking, which makes it all the easier for them to answer “yes” and difficult to do “no.” There is a reason why many “Japanese people do not answer No.”

However, we sometimes face a situation where we have to answer “no.” In such a case, how do Japanese people usually respond?

“今夜飲みに行かない？ (Konya nomini ikanai?): Let’s grab a drink!”
→“う～ん、ちょっと…… (u-n, chotto…): Ummm, ”

“この服、似合うかなあ？ (Konofuku, niaukana?): Does this outfit suit me?”
→ “なんか、こっちのがいいような／気がする (Nanka, kocchinoga iiyouna/kiga suru): I think this is somehow better.”
→“こっちのがいいかも…… (Kocchinoga iikamo…): This may be better.” “他の服を見たら？ (Hokano fukuwo mitara?): How about trying another one?”

  “一緒に旅行に行かない？ (Isshoni ryokoni ikanai?): Let’s travel together!”
→“う～ん、考えておく／いけないかなあ…… (u-n, kangaete oku/ikenaikana…): Umm, I am thinking/I may be not able to go…”

In these examples, people neither answer “yes” nor “no.” Although these answers seem vague to those who are not familiar with Japanese language and it is hard to understand, they express “no” by being vague or omitting words. *いけない (ikenai) = it means “I want to go there but I cannot go” here.

If you were to clearly say “no,” it would hurt the other person, so this is another way to express it, avoiding that. At least, it allows you to avoid or postpone answering “no” immediately.

There are other expressions such as “いいです (Iidesu),” “けっこうです (Kekkodesu)” and “大丈夫です (Daijobudesu).” They can mean both “yes” and “no” depending on a situation. They usually come out of consideration and thoughtfulness for the other person.

When we are forced to answer something that does not align with the other person’s intentions, it is normal for all humans to become vague or talkative. However, it is a huge issue related to the very core of Japanese language that “はい (hai): yes” in Japanese express affirmation of a fact, or agreement or conformity with the other person’s way of thinking or feeling.

We know that the Japanese way of speaking, which involves not saying “no” clearly to the other person’s way of thinking, not strongly asserting your own opinion, and being vague, comes from consideration for others. The development of honorific language, which is said to be a distinctive feature of the Japanese language, also has its roots in consideration and consideration for others.

When we talk with people, we cannot speak Japanese without understanding the relationship between us and the other person. The way to speak changes depending on the hierarchical relationship, the level of familiarity, the gender, the location, and the situation. When you speak to someone who is senior to you, you should speak in a respectful manner and talk humbly about yourself. On the other hand, when speaking to your friends, you should use a casual way. It is no exaggeration to say that the Japanese language is built on this consideration and consideration for others.

I once read a newspaper article that said that as foreigners speak Japanese, their speaking will gradually become like Japanese people. I agree.

As students learn and speak Japanese, their attitude, behavior, and even facial expressions somehow become more Japanese.

These are Japanese language features. “～～です (~~ desu): Affirmative” or “～～ではありません (~~dewa arimasen): Negative?” We will not understand until you listen to the end. The expressions are vague and diverse, so the meaning is hard to understand. What is the speaker’s gender? Different words are used depending on whether the person is a superior or subordinate. These characteristics of Japanese are deeply connected to the way Japanese people think and feel when they speak it.

The difference between “はい/いいえ (Hai/Iie)” and “Yes/No” is not just a matter of grammar. Why not study Japanese language and Japanese customs and culture with Japanese teachers at TCJ?